The Void

Disclaimer: The terms "win" and "fail" are frequently used by even the mainstream these days, trashed and shat upon from their original usage. I use the terms and possibly other dead-memes here in a scientific sense, so please bear with it.

<strangelove> yo what do you think of that stupid project chanology?

As a whole, I would like to say it's retarded. The people doing it aren't channers, nor are they individuals of a nasty outlook as would be expected of channers; they're just a lot of people who joined some protest movement and saw V for Vendetta and Fight Club too many times, simply part of a sad collective of human beings who wish to become something more then their pitiful selves, and so attempt to uphold an ideal, their terribly terribly impossibly wrong concept of what that whole "Anonymous" thing is all about, wasting their time, effort, and hopefully getting sued by Scientologists.

If I cared enough I would feel bad for being part of that little gas that burned in the fireplace waiting for the pilot light to be lit. A match was set to it, simple threads with simple plans. It started out as the standard raid, but on a scale we've never attempted before: get target, destroy them, singular motivation: lulz. Of course, as usual, the target would assume we were doing raiding things because of some sort of higher moral standard or political ideal, when we were just bored and shit was funny. Desiring a greater fire, we turned up the gas until the gas tanks exploded in our faces. We decided to recruit other people into it, knowing we could not destroy an organized religion on our own. We said, "Let us pool the resources of the other internet powers, even the ones we hate. Let's get our friends at SA and YTMND and those types of chaps, and while we're at it, recruit minions from the lowly Gaiafag ranks, the furries, and other massive online communities." I wrote down, with a foreboding thought of one way things could go wrong, that "these people are NOT a part of any sort of organization that we resemble, they're just working towards the same goal for their own stupid reasons, gaining us great lulz." Unfortunately these people did not interpret it as such, and believed they had joined a new protest group "Anonymous" that used strange humor (those funny 'lolcats' from icanhascheeseburger and that silly Ricky Astly that YouTube invented gais!) and a curious set of beliefs (stupid copypasta that we've all written about the collective consciousness of /b/ personified by the hivemind of Anonymous that, while true, isn't quite as true as they believed and most decidedly removed from their view on the matter). Matters were exacerbated by existing anti-Scientology movements, mostly a bunch of old people, who climbed on board the failtrain. The extend of this corruption of our beliefs was not evident among our ranks of allies and minions until the protests began. "Protests? Um... we'll sure, go break some shit, throw things throw windows, good luck people, godspeed."

Then they came, thousands of them. You know who I mean by them. We were confused at first: "Are they... doing some kind of elegant troll, to recruit more people by pretending we have a message?" We had to assume a large portion of them were trolling, they couldn't be serious in their moral standpoint, in this upholding of a belief about right and wrong, for such things are irrelevant from the view of pleasure-seeking Anonymous who wants just his laughter, porn and cats. Then it became evident that, through the strength of the protests, an action on the side of the moral-based minions we hired, this little raid had gotten quite out of our control. It was beyond anything we imagined, in a bad way; instead of turning many random internet fags into tiny little hateboxes, they took our unique social resources and got control of the raid itself, so by the second protest it wasn't Anon pissing off Scientology as a joke, it was a massive amount of non-channers who were just... crusading. It wasn't our raid anymore; it was a movement, one we wanted nothing to do with. There was a brief time in which we believed this was a clever ruse to move into a new, more effective stage for dismantling the church, but soon we were quite aware that the lulz was dried up, and how! These people were serious and we were not; no matter how many times we tried to communicate the point that we never really cared about the actual moral reasoning behind taking out Scientology, nor did we care if people believe in their space gods and such, these people took their idea of what Anonymous is and ran with it like a roidraging autistic on a high school football team.

But this is old news to those who know such truths. In fact, no one cares anymore, at all. Why?

Unfortunately, there was something that happened with memetic physics, the likes of which have never been seen on such a scale. There were massive amounts of positive memetic energy, "win," during our initial attacks. The conceptual "Internet Hate Machine" is powered on such energy, and generates lulz that Anon consumes, the act of consumption bringing more win to our hearts and minds; think digestion of food.

However, this influx of win was sustained by a reaction with extremely negative memetic energy, "fail;" that is, the Gaiafags and worse that were a part of us. In essence, what happened was that upon a field of win, massive amounts of failure were fueled into this raid-reaction to generate a "big bang" of activity, theorized to produce a galaxy of win; think matter-antimatter and theories about the creation of the physical universe. But social constructs move faster then physics, and a day on the Internet is the equivalent of years in real life. So much failure can only be win for so long. The galaxy reached a certain critical mass, and then collapsed inward into a single little pulsing dark hole of failure, embeded into the hearts of anything Scientology-related to the Chanese world, and consuming memes whole, Guy Fawkes masks being the most obvious one. To the channers who were there from the beginning, it was clear this shitty raid was beyond dead. The dark nexus of failure stayed and persists unto this day, surrounded by floating pieces of Chanology and broken memes, creating what I call The Void.

The Void is a part of social-constructs so removed from anything remotely funny, without a trace of win, and so much fail that it can be said it no longer even fails. It just exists, a hole sucking in all memetic energy, all effort, all humor. Good and bad ceases to be, because it is too hard to care anymore. After Chanology, my rage circut burned out. I don't care to do internet things one way or another; towards it, against it, even other raids, seem meaningless after this cancer has crept through and soiled our memories; similar effects have been seen in many old Chanese citizens.

This Void is a concentrated field of apathy surrounding this entire subject. It sucked in the closest source of memetic energy, the /i/nsurgency, and continues to drain their will to this day, explaining how it never has risen to former glory. Slowly all things are being drawn towards it, as it feeds off of social energy. From The Void came creatures that entered our (love it our hate it) once glorious motherland of 4chan. /b/ has always been changing, but there was a definite spike in bad content after the Chanology bubble collapsed. The creatures of the void, posters who found imageboards after they found the bastardized "Anonymous" and are devoid of any good content or the natural ability to make such things, slowly roam the lands, feasting and leaving in their wake a trail of watermarked memes and terrible grammar.

I will not disagree with those who say that traces of lulz still spew forth from that mess, such as that fag who was gunned down because he rushed a Church of Scientology with a katana; yeah, that's funny. However, any reasoning mind can see how the ratios are skewed so that the shit flows freely and the funny is all but run dry. The Void continues to suck energy and interest from all imageboards. In the end, it is the personification of entropy, a force that cannot be overcome. Is there anything we can do about this nightmare?

I don't know, nor do I care.

Why Chanology Sucks, Part I

This probably won't be the last time I rant about this in an actual essay archive of mine, but I haven't saved past works so it is the first time on this bloggy device. Let's launch into this. Before we begin we should say why we have all this contact info inside Chanology things: we helped start it, in the early days that few remember of "Hey you know who's batshit, this Scientology thing, let's prank call them and maybe some bomb threats and antrhax scares from the more daring Anon might get even more lulzy richness. Fuck this shit is so big let's tell other people to come help us fuck with this international organization." Eventually it seems some Goons and Gaians and all sorts of people somehow got into our name, like a sheep in wolf's skin. The wolves got pissed and left; we went back to brood on /b/and raaaaaged, and are raging to this day. Now the funny thing about sheep in wolves skin is that they try to make the wolves look like a really cool justice league, watching Fight Club even more then /b/ and probably any movie that has the Illuminati. They seeped into us like a cancer, turning a hateful but most importantly not serious business group of imageboard users into... them. Arguing the epilepsy raid was not actually Anonymous, and I've seen some strong anti-racism and anti-pedo comments from them. That won't fly.


Here is a grand example of the faggotree of morality and what it does; poor moot, I hope he does not get this shit. Send to a Chan Enterprises contact address that was on the first press release (about raiding and illegal attacks, back in early January... has it really been so long?)

-TRANSMISSION LOG|CHAN ENTERPRISES|ANONYMOUS REPRESENTATIVE-

Hi Anonymous,

Do you still get email at this address? If so I have some information that you might be interested in.

If you receive this email please let me know and I'll get back to you with the details and see what you think. I'd love to hear what you could do with this.

Thanks so much,
jane

Not being one to pass up a trolling opportunity, we decided to give it a shot

Why yes, we do. We have been away for a bit but we are here now. What information do you have?

Brace for faggotree impact

Hi Anonymous,

It's nice that you have returned after being away for a bit.

I hope that you like puppies and like helping innocent victims. I hope that you love justice and fairness. I hope that you hate corrupt government, bullies, and corrupt companies.

Those are the things that are involved in this matter.

A small town Mayor is hurting, abusing and torturing a sweet little puppy. The folks that care for the puppy have been threatened and are being victimzed too. It's all being done for greed and profit and to enrich a corrupt company.

It's a fascinating story which shows how government really works, - or doesn't work for the average guy. It demonstrates the corruption of government and a company and how they work together to cheat the average person.

The victims need help. The puppy can't stand up for himself. His owners have been threatened with being sued into oblivion if they talk about the situation. They are already being screwed by the town and live in fear.

The word needs to get out. Shining a light on corruption is often effective. I know that you can get the word out. You can even do it on an international level.

The owners don't know anything about how to be anonymous, but then neither do I.

I'd like to tell you the story. I'd like to send you a photo of the puppy.

There are other photos and papers which document the story.

It would be great if you and some of the people in the anonymous group could review the story.

Sincerely,

jane

Just as we fucking well expected. Ah well, launch the troll probes; these images were displayed inline in the email

Mrs. Anderson,
Thank you for alerting us to this fact. Our operatives have already begun research; in fact, we have gathered the following documentation:



Obviously this man is sick and must be stopped. Anonymous will put full efforts forward to find this man; his reign of dog killing is over. To waste toilets and resources in such an ineffective manner of slaughter is horrid; Anonymous can improve it with death-camps for dogs. You see, our enemies often purchase dogs to stop our hacking abilities, and it is a great problem for us. We hope this mayor will see the error of his ways and stop wasting time on a few single dogs when there is a whole city requiring a canine genocide.

Thank you for alerting us to this failure to act. We will do all in our power to get the word about.
--
Anonymous
Communications Division
Chan Enterprises LLC

What were you expecting from us Mrs. Anderson?

Chan,

Why do you mock my serious request?

Sincerely,

jane

She thinks my name is Chan because it says Chan Enterprises....

I'm fed up, let me just let her off with a warning and a touch of troll

Because, my dear Jane, Anonymous is not and never was a protest orginzation. Now if you have any more evidence on how the Jews did 9/11 that would be great, though the damned jew media would censor it anyways.

Well surely she will not message me back right? Oh no. Looks like Nancy Drew did some investigative reporting from definitive web sources:

Chan,

Anonymous certainly appeared to be protesting and exposing injustice. At least that is the (apparently mistaken) impression many people had. Perhaps anonymous should have posted a disclaimer or explanation of what kind of group it is, and stated that it is not at all concerned about human suffering, corruption, abuse, freedom, justice, etc.

So Chan just what is anonymous? A fun loving group of Scientologists who enjoy human suffering?

Well then I’ll let you get back to your popcorn and torture videos from Abu Ghraib prison.

“Anonymous is not and never was a protest orginzation” [sic]. - CHAN

Note: http://www.whyweprotest.net/

What’s that? They PROTEST? Hmmm, must be a different anonymous group.

Note 2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_(group) “The general public's mass introduction to the group began with Project Chanology, a protest against the Church of Scientology. The most visible element of the protest was mass protests of many Church . . . .

What’s that again? They PROTEST? No, it can’t be. SURELY they don’t protest! Not that!

Note 3: Well there’s more, but never mind. You get the picture. I can’t imagine how I ever got the idea that “Chanology” and anonymous PROTESTED or were concerned with social justice and freedom. Silly me.

I'm sure you will quickly correct all those erronous websites as soon as you and Tom are done watching the videos.

Oh don't forget: http://non.violentuprising.com/index.php/Main_Page Where it lists, PROTEST Guidelines, and Finished PROTESTS and Events, and goes on to add, ". . . join us on August 16th for our next global PROTEST."

Sincerely,

Jane

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

I thought she was on the right track when she mentioned loling@aru gharib, but damn, I mean, she has sources and quotes and everything and pointed out my singular spelling mistake with great care and I think she might even get some kind of witness in here oh shit how do I defend against this contention what kind of parliamentary move can stand in the way of her mighty oh wait yeah

OBJECTION!!!

*sigh*
How do we explain this... let's see, it is like this.


My name is not Chan. Chan Enterprises is sorta a joke because Anonymous comes from *chans, 4chan.org and some other *chans. 4chan was founded years ago by some guy named moot from Something Awful. It was based on 2chan, a Japanese website. The imageboard allows us to post without a name, leaving the default name Anonymous.



Through the medium of this Anonymous posting with no consequences for posts, and no bias based on who posted, we evolved a culture unlike any other. This culture is responsible for most internet memes, like Rickroll and Chocolate Rain and "lolcats" as they are called nowadays.



The general type of poster on imageboards are openly racist (with legit reasons too, stereotypes are based on fact), often pro-pedophilia, and are the source of a lot of annoyance online, doing website raids and hacking MySpaces, just for fun, because it entertains us. Some say that the fun little raid on the Epilepsy Forum was not us; bullshit, I was there for the whole shebang. Fun times.



Anyways eventually we decided to raid Scientology because it would be funny, and DDoS their sites and prank call them, and halfway through the thing our attempt to get some help backfired; people thought Anonymous was a protest organization, some fatass on JewTube started saying we should do peaceful protests, and everyone felt Anonymous was doing good and had a good name that our illegal actions should not ruin. Go ask anyone who has used the internet for more then a year what a /b/tard is and then tell me you expect that kind of person to protest a cult because we care.



The wiki page on us, the various websites, all shit created by the new trash who seem to think they can use Anonymous as a great protest justice force of a sort. We are no better then Scientology; hell, with the amounts of hate and child porn that have passed through our site we may be worse. I for one admire LolRon for making such a fucking awesome cult out of sci-fi that people pay money for. If only we could get site donations like that...



You really are mistaken. You should ask NAMBLA to protest for you, they honestly look better then us. Seriously, find some grassroots thing, PETA should take you on, maybe Neo-feminists (we raided them once, crazy bitches). Something Awful has a lot more moralistic folks then we do, pay 10 bucks to get to their forum (they are our distant digital father in a sense).



Fox News sure sounded dumb, but they were a lot more accurate then the reports on Chanology protesters being Anonymous.



Thank you for your time and have a nice lulz,

Anonymous

Imageboard Moderator

http://AnonTruth.on.nimp.org/

-END TRANSMISSION LOG-




Well there is only so long we can go without exploding and wondering if they will pass this along to their protest friends. Maybe there is an Enturbulation blogspot with a bunch of people with usernames like AnonEpicJustice where they are thinking how silly and narrow minded my post must be to think Anonymous is a hate group. I don't want to explicitly say that it is, because that assumes that there is a strict seriousbusiness type of regulation going, and I do so hate serious business, but there is no doubt that as a whole Anonymous is generally an asshole. Mrs. Anderson, and your silly protesters are just... unbelievably stupid and blind. I think CoS actually MADE a video showing what "delicious cake" really meant in our terms and you outright denied it when the loli boards were still kicking. Doesn't make a bit of sense, but I should not expect so much thought from a group who is working so hard at a grassroots vs megacorp, even one that is dying on its own. Yeah Chanology, they really don't need your help, it is a rich cult that did their shit well. Genocide and shit is going on and you really are doing a movement against one awesome sci-fi cult that believes in what could be an episode of Star Trek or something. The e-meter can't tell which of you two is stupidest.

Go on "Anonymous," shut down my evil CoS endorsement; well by shut down I mean, make some image-signs and walk around my blogspot saying some things, and maybe write a letter to your senator that wicked Kakama has gone off on a rant again, and by Xenu he is going to /r/ right now that everyone reading this donate to 420chan or 7chan DAMN YOU SINISTER BASTARD, A LONG TIME AGO YOU ALSO RAIDED A MYSPACE AND HURT SOME FEELINGS, WE WILL STOP YOU, OH DAMN YOU LET ME SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I HATE YOU WITH A YOUTUBE VIDEO ABOUT HOW YOU HURT PEOPLE AND ASK FOR MONEY AND HAVE A SCI-FI FETISH. YOUR REIGN OF TERROR IS OVVVVVVEERRRRRR oh but we're not gonna prank call you or anything cause that would be, like, wrong and stuff and we're the fucking Justice League.

Me, I'm going to go laugh at something stupid on the Internet, and maybe order a garlic pizza for someone I don't like; if I'm feeling really daring methinks asking Gamestop for Battletoads is in order. And loli. Copious amounts of loli. Because that is about the extent of what Anonymous "does" as an "organization." But If you want to go around under the name of a persona that has an average user who looks like a racist antisocial pedophile with Aspergers and a severe acne problem whilst living in their parent's basement, or just a generic semi-insane weirdo on the Internets, the kind responsible for an estimated 20% of the Internet being a bit less enjoyable for you, be my guest. Except don't, because it still makes me rage.

Oh, I need a quote to be as official and clearly legit as her. Here is one of my favorites and I think it fits:

"Oh the wonderful thing about Tigger, is a Tigger's a wonderful thing, their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs!"
- Tigger, Winnie the Pooh, circa childhood

Until next time.